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Total Cow

Updated: Jun 26, 2021

When a message comes into our inbox asking for feedback on a new burger company, we don't need telling twice. Baby in bed = check. Tummy ready = check. Beer in fridge = check. And J on a trip to get to Ye Olde Red Lion in Nash Mills to try burgers from Total Cow's food truck on only their 3rd day of trading= hells yes!



Craig is usually a property developer but recently, his appetite got the better of him and he started a foray into food. After decking out an old horse box to make it a food truck running on a gas grill and a 1000w lithium battery for lights and hand wash, then benchmarking burgers around Herts, London and the South East, Craig tested out his burgers during the last few months, and then on 16th June, started trading on Fridays and Saturdays at Ye Olde Red Lion in Nash Mills.


The menu is simple for now; cheeseburger, "simple cow", "total cow" and "total mac". We went for the Total Cow which comes as a patty of beef, bacon jam, american cheese, pickles, and truffle mayo in a brioche bun. The sensational thing about the patties, is that they are 50 day dry-aged, grass fed British beef. Not only that though, the beef is from Aubrey Allen, prestigious butchers based in Warwickshire who have approval from the FSA to sell burgers which can and should be served pink. The result is a burger than is completely and utterly SUBLIME.


The burger is visually incredibly simple. In fact, when J got them home I asked where all the garnish was (not that I buy a burger for the lettuce you understand, but its an expectation that one would have some type of "green" included) but the flavour is anything but simple. It is intense, complex and hedonistic. The brioche bun is almost picture perfect, and glossy egg-washed. It holds up well, even when absorbing the salty, meaty juices. As you bite into the burger, the cheese oozes out and the relishes make the mouth water. The meat is tender, juicy and succulent, and finally, the pickle just zings everything together. What a bloody brilliant mouthful.



But I feel I must be honest...there is one things that irks me...and that's that J only got me 1 burger. I could have eaten a hellavalotta more of that! I can confidently say that Total Cow is one of the best burgers I have had; EVER.

Hemel is not short of burger options (especially with the news that Five Guys is opening in Jarman Park in August), but do me a favour and try out Total Cow as your top choice before you support a chain.


Service:

All burgers made to order. I have no doubt that as the pub gets busier and people find out how amazing theese burgers are, that Total Cow will get pretty busy though, so be prepared to grab a beer and wait. It'll be worth it.


Quality:

See above....nuff said. This is the s**t.


Price/Value:

£8 per burger or £11 with a double patty. Pretty good value for the best thing you'll eat this side of Christmas!


Overall:

OUTSTANDING!

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